I Guess Watch This Awful Person Lie About Being Hit By A Car To Cops To Save A Parking Spot

I’ll admit I feel a little dirty for writing about this but it is automotive-life related and I can’t deny the lurid fascination of watching a really miserable person behave really miserably. If you’re harboring any latent misanthropy this isn’t going to help, at all. It’s a tiny, infuriating one-act play about a woman lying to police to attempt to save a parking spot for her boyfriend’s Challenger, and, sadly, it seems to have actually happened. Oh, and there’s some subtle shade thrown at Subaru, too.

Do you want to see it? I mean, you do and you don’t, so just watch it:

Wow, right? Who does that? What happens to someone to make them this terrible? Also, the constant dancing about doesn’t help.

I don’t think it’s legal to call 911 and falsely claim to have been hit by a car when you very much haven’t. There’s zero attempt to really hide what she’s doing, since when her boyfriend does pull up in his black Challenger, the painfully entitled person yells “Babe! I got you a parking spot!”

Babe, to his credit, makes a prudent decision and, seeing the security guard, his arrogantly bopping girlfriend, and the waiting car, does a quick burst of mental math and realizes that none of the mess that’s unfolding there is anything he wants to be a part of, so he drives off.

When the woman is describing the car to the police, she hilariously describes it as a

“baby blue vehicle,”

…then takes a moment to call the driver an “old bitch” before continuing,

“It’s like a non-brand car. It has like stars on it.”

I’m guessing she was looking at the stars in the Subaru badge. Subaru is a brand!

It looks like the woman has been identified, but I’m not really interested in amplifying any of that. You can look at the Facebook post that shared the video if you really, really want to know more, but I doubt anyone really wants to know more about this person.

Still, enjoy that weird sensation we all get from watching someone act absolutely horribly, and I suppose let yourself feel the sympathetic rage and promise yourself you’d never, ever do anything like this.

Ugh.